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This week, Prescott Mountain Gardener Ken Lane shares the seven yard decorations your HOA doesn't want in your yard. What are some ways you can decorate and highlight your front yard? What are some ideas you'll want to avoid and that HOAs absolutely hate?
This week's column may be a bit hurtful to some, but your neighbors have been begging me to write it. They've been whispering behind your back about your garden décor. There may be some relics lurking in your yard that don't add anything to the look of your home. Take a look at this list to see if your yard is attracting the wrong kind of attention.
Pink plastic flamingos are the unofficial mascot of lawns craving sunshine. Bless the poor soul who believes that a flock of plastic birds will transform an arid Arizona landscape into a tropical oasis. It's like telling yourself that a tumbleweed is a palm tree and a cactus is a pineapple. But, hey, it's not for us to judge. Maybe you're just trying to give your local roadrunner a good laugh.
Costume your concrete geese – Bless the people who meticulously outfit their concrete geese for every occasion, from sun hats and sunglasses in the summer to knitted scarves in the winter to little graduation caps in May. The level of dedication to lawn decor is both admirable and a little worrying. But, hey, we're not to judge. Those geese are trying to keep up with the Joneses' flamingos.
Fake Deer – A deer gracefully prancing through a yard is appealing, but a hard plastic deer that freezes mid-grazing is not so appealing. It's like the poor deer wandered into a lawn ornament store and spent the entire time thinking, “Oh my goodness, what's this?” The homeowner is probably trying to warn the natural deer away: “Look, there's a deer here already. Go away.”
Fake Wishing Wells – While some people dream of backyard oases, others seem content to just turn their front yards into miniature theme parks. Fake wishing wells are a testament to suburban creativity and the eternal quest for the perfect home. Well, we’re not sure what we’re hoping for. Are homeowners hoping for a magical influx of landscaping funds? Or are they just trying to distract everyone so no one notices their pink flamingos?
Leaning Cowboy – A lone cowboy leaning against a saloon would fit in well on the back streets of Whiskey Row, but a rusted metal silhouette propped up against a garage seems out of place. Maybe it's a desperate attempt to inject some Wild West charm into a suburban cul-de-sac, or maybe the homeowner is just trying to find some company for his plastic flamingo. Either way, the look seems to scream, “Hello, stranger! Welcome to my quirky desert abode.”
Lawn Jockeys – Lawn jockeys may once have been considered a symbol of Southern hospitality, but their presence now seems more awkward than welcoming. It's like inviting guests into your home only to be greeted with a minstrel show. Perhaps the homeowner is trying to create a Kentucky Derby-themed landscape with plastic flamingos in place of thoroughbreds. A bold choice, to say the least.
Artificial flowers in the garden are like a poorly made wig: They may fool you in the mirror, but everyone else frowns. They're a desperate attempt to achieve an effortless, ever-blooming landscape, like those who rely on plastic flamingos for animal food. But at least the sun-bleached blue petals add a touch of “desert chic” to your ensemble, right?
Garden gnomes are kitschy peddlers in pointy hats, frozen in perpetual merriment. These little gnomes may be the unofficial mascots of landscaping with questionable taste. And yet they're not the only ones trying to clutter up a pretty yard. Gazebo balls, religious statues, wooden cutouts of women crouching in polka-dot bloomers are just the sort of mishmash of garden art gone wrong. These homeowners might be trying to outdo their neighbors' plastic flamingos in terms of tackiness.
Yard art, like any trend, has a shelf life. Sun-bleached colors, cracked paint, and chipped figurines scream “outdated” faster than you can say “lawn jockey.” If your yard décor is looking dated, it may be time for a refresh. With so many stylish, modern options available, why settle for a sleek sculpture or vibrant water feature instead of a cracked concrete geese? Don't let your yard become stuck with outdated tacky trends and become an eyesore in the neighborhood. Elevate your outdoor space with tasteful updates and leave the pink flamingos to kitschy collectors.
Plant of the Week – You won’t want to plant a Balboa Sunset Trumpet Vine because it’s the perfect combination of beauty and functionality. Its vibrant flowers bloom repeatedly into fall, turning any fence into a living work of art and attracting flocks of hummingbirds. This hardy vine thrives in Arizona’s hot summers, adding color to your landscape when other plants won’t. Its fast growth means you’ll quickly create a lush screen for privacy and shade. The Balboa Sunset Trumpet Vine is an easy-to-care-for addition to your garden’s charm and practicality.
Insider Tip – Trumpet vine is a great ground cover between steep and downhill slopes.
Until next week, I'll be at Watters Garden Center helping gardeners make their front yards look upscale with new fountains and statues.
Free summer garden classes at Watters Garden Center
The free garden classes will be held every Saturday in June at 9:30 a.m. at Watters Garden Center, 1815 Iron Springs Rd. in Prescott.
July 27 – Top 10 fresh fruit trees
This class will introduce you to the fastest growing fruit trees and insider secrets for large harvests of apples, pears, cherries, apricots, plums, peaches, etc. There will be a special focus on planting cocktail trees for success in small yards.
August 3 – Successfully planted a large tree
Privacy, shade, evergreens, flowers. There will be trees for every situation, especially for small yards and tricky locations. Students will receive a free tree planting guide upon completion of this class.
August 10 – Grow a beautiful, pest-free garden
Students will learn best practices for javelinas and mice, then quickly move on to solutions for grasshoppers and tomato worms — and be equipped with the tools they need to grow a beautiful garden.
This article was written by Ken Lain, who is available throughout the week at Watters Garden Center, 1815 W. Iron Springs Rd. in Prescott, or can be contacted through his websites, WattersGardenCenter.com or Top10Plants.com.
Check out more gardening tips from Watters Garden Center in the Mountain Gardener column on Signals A Z.com.
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